Did you know that the scent that turns men on the most is pumpkin pie mixed with lavender? And that women have been known to go wild from a whiff of Good & Plenty and cucumber?
For anyone who wants to know more about sex, attraction, and how to improve his or her chances with someone cute comes this indispensable resource from Judy Dutton. Secrets from the Sex Lab takes you into the simmering world of sex researchers who have been documenting the many esoteric aspects of the erotic realm for years. With this book the laboratory door is finally open to you.
Follow the fictional couple John and Jane as they meet, flirt, kiss, have sex, and try to figure out what their attraction means and what to do about it. Backed by hundreds of scientific studies and interviews with people just like you, Judy Dutton reveals the why behind John’s impulse to rip Jane’s clothes off before he gets to know her. Even more than the science, though, Secrets from the Sex Lab gives you hands-on lessons on how to take your sex life up a notch and put science to good use.
• What’s the best way to handle someone’s hot spots? • Are men more promiscuous than women? • Does size really matter? • What brings on bigger, better orgasms? • Can a brain scan tell if you’re in love or just in lust? • Will there ever be a women’s version of Viagra? • Why should women plan dates around their ovulation schedule? • Why are men with names containing i or e more attractive? • Why do women always seem to fall for jerks? • Why do men chase women who are much younger than they are?
Nowadays, anyone on the Web can call themselves a “sexpert” but have no more credentials than your clueless best friend. Judy Dutton interviews the real experts who devote their lives–and their graduate degrees–to the subject of sex. But all her research wasn’t done solely with people in white coats. She also hit the streets to see just what’s going on in the world of attraction. As a result, Secrets from the Sex Lab is an illuminating and accurate look at what turns us on, what turns us off, and how we can get better in the sack.
About Judy Dutton
JUDY DUTTON has been a staff editor and writer for Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Redbook, and Maxim, among other publications. Her previous books include Redbook’s 500 Sex Tips: How to Make Sex More Exciting, Satisfying & Fun and Red Hot Touch: A… More about Judy Dutton
Ebook | $11.99
Published by Harmony Jul 14, 2009| 272 Pages| ISBN 9780767932141
“Dutton seamlessly blends her writing gift with the eyes of scientific research to give the common folk access to the best new, tried and true information about our sexuality and some you wouldn’t have dreamed of. . . . Her book is a delicious guided tour through the ever-changing and evolving landscape of human sexuality.” —Lou Paget, bestselling author of How to Be a Great Lover and How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure
From the Hardcover edition.
Question: What were you surprised to learn during your research on attraction and sex? Judy Dutton: I was surprised to learn that sexual attraction is shaped by forces well beyond what we’re consciously aware of. For instance, the vowels in your name can make you more or less attractive. For men, names with a’s, e’s, and i’s are hot, like Matt or Mike. For women, o’s and u’s are hot, like Lola or Judy (which I guess is good for me). I was also amazed to learn that researchers have tallied a total of 237 reasons why people have sex. To me, this just goes to show that sexual behavior is far more complex than meets the eye.
Question: What are some of the most successful pick-up lines men and women have used? Judy Dutton: For men, the opener “I feel a little embarrassed about this, but I’d like to meet you” scores best with an 82 percent success rate. A simple “Hi” will get the conversation rolling 55 percent of the time. Cheesy come-ons bomb badly. “Bet I can out-drink you” will work only 20 percent of the time. Perhaps not surprisingly, women can utter any of the above pick-up lines with an 80 percent success rate. So, women really shouldn’t be afraid to make the first move.
Question: What’s the best piece of dating advice you would give to a single female friend? Judy Dutton: One surprising tip for women would be this: plan your dates when you’re ovulating (which is typically day 14 after the start of your last period). Studies suggest that men find women most attractive when they’re most fertile. Any guy who dates you at this time of the month will be utterly smitten–and unable to figure out why.
Question: What about a single male friend? Judy Dutton: For men who are out on the prowl, my number one piece of advice is this: Bring along a female friend. Women are highly intrigued by men who’ve already won another female’s stamp of approval. So by heading to a bar with a wingwoman, you’ll attract many more ladies than if you head to a bar with your male buddies. Question: If a couple’s sex life has become a bit dull, what are some tactics they might use to rekindle the spark? Judy Dutton: Oddly, shaking up what you do in bed isn’t the answer. The solution is to shake up what you do outside the bedroom. During your next date night, try something new, whether that’s tango lessons or a Thai cooking class. Novel activities stimulate the brain’s reward system–the same circuits that get activated when couples first fall in love. So, you’re essentially goosing your brain chemistry into making sparks fly again. Another simple trick is to remove the TV from your bedroom. One study found that couples who don’t have a TV in their bedroom have sex an average of eight times a month, while those with TVs have sex half as often. If you need TV come bedtime, try to at least steer clear of reality shows, which were found to be the biggest libido killers.
Question: Do most people fantasize during sex? What are the most common fantasies? Judy Dutton: On average, men indulge in 7.2 sexual fantasies per day, women 4.5. The most popular fantasies are surprisingly G-rated. “Touching/kissing sensuously,” “being seduced,” and even “walking hand in hand” all make it into the top ten for men and women. Racier fantasies, however, are also very common. Half of men and one-third of women have fantasized about participating in an orgy. One in three women and one in five men have dreamt of a homosexual encounter if they’re heterosexual, or a heterosexual encounter if they’re homosexual. Question: What did you learn about cheating and infidelity? Judy Dutton: I learned that many of our beliefs about cheating aren’t true. For example, many assume that cheaters must be unhappy with their current relationship. And yet, one study found that 56 percent of men and 34 percent of women who’d had affairs rated their marriage as “happy” or even “very happy.” Secondly, I learned that our bodies have their own defenses against cheating. For example, men’s semen contain “killer” sperm that cruise around killing any other man’s sperm it encounters within a woman’s reproductive tract. One final point is that the future looks bleak for philanderers, since currently there’s a genetic test that can tell who will cheat, and a vaccine that keeps cheaters faithful. Currently this vaccine only works on rodents called voles, but perhaps one day this vaccine will exist for humans as well.
Question: What do you hope people take away from reading How We Do It? Judy Dutton: Sex, dating, and relationships can cause a lot of anxiety, but whatever your quandary, science can help shed some light on the subject. An MRI scan, for example, can clear up whether you’re in love or just in lust. Women who constantly fall for bad boys or married men might like to know that there’s a scientific reason why they’re doing this–and a way to stop. Men might be relieved to know that the size of their penis really doesn’t matter, because scientists have found that big and small models alike give the same number of orgasms on average. Meanwhile, women who are stressed about their how they look naked may be glad to know that according to eye-tracking studies, men spend most of their time during sex staring at a woman’s face verses her body. This book will set you straight on many of the myths that people assume are true about sex, but aren’t. Know the facts, and your love life will be a whole lot happier for it.