“Filled with stories and practical advice for parents and teachers of adolescent boys… I recommend it to those who want to raise fine young men.”
—Mary Pipher, Reviving Ophelia
“Convincingly illustrates . . . the peculiar pain and potential loneliness of being a boy in America today.”
—Time magazine
“Provocative… His Wonder of Boys became the impetus for a growing ‘boys movement.’ “
—USA Today
“Proactive and ultimately imbued with hope. With persuasive eloquence, Gurian outlines thoughtful and practical steps.”
—Publishers Weekly (starred review)
“Any parent will find this an intriguing, immensely readable book.”
—Book Page
Introduction:
Boys on Fire
The Next Level
Nature and Nurture: Adolescent Male Biology and Culture
A Unique Opportunity
Part One: The Emotional Lives of Adolescent Males
Chapter One: Jason and His Brothers: What It’s Really Like for Adolescent Boys in America
Jason’s Brothers
The State of Male Adolescence Today:
The Declining Safety of Our Adolescent Boys; The Mental Health of Adolescent Boys; Drugs, Alcohol, and the Depression Link; Suicide; Body Image; Attention Defecit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD); Sexual Abuse
Adolescent Males in the Educational System
The Fragile Self
Adolescent Male Self-Esteem
Bravado and Beyond
From Posturing to Trauma Responses
Adolescent Male Posttraumatic Stress
Adolescent Males in Shock
Chapter Two: Protecting the Emotional Lives of Adolescent Boys
The Emotional Neglect of Our Adolescent Boys
Male Biology and the Adolescent Boy’s Emotional Disadvantage:
The Male Emotional System; Testosterone and the Emotional Disadvantage; The Deal; The Male Brain, Sexual Biology, and the Emotional Disadvantage; Philip
The Key to Offsetting an Adolescent Boy’s Emotional Disadvantage
Resistance to Biological Teaching
The Male Mode of Friendship
Emotional Trauma, Emotional Neglect, and Your Adolescent Boy
The Next Step
Part Two: The Journey to Manhood: The Three Stages of Male Adolescence
Chapter Three: The Crucial Passage: Nurturing the Second Decade of a Boy’s Life
Redefining the Purpose of Male Adolescence:
A Brief History of Male Adolescence; The Core Self; The Second Birth; Adolescent Boys Need Clans
The Masculine Nurturing System
A Three-Stage Program for Raising Boys into Men
The Value of Suffering
Chapter Four: Stage 1: The Age of Transformation (Ages 9-13)
Adolescence Can Begin at Nine Years Old
The Formative Years
What to Expect from a Prepubescent Adolescent Male:
School Life; Peers; Emotions and Behavior; His Thinking Process, Including His Sense of Values
What to Expect from Adolescent Boys During Puberty:
Physiological Changes; More about Testosterone; The Emerging Adolescent Male’s Brain
What We Can Do to Raise Stage 1 Males into Exceptional Men
The High and Low Ends of the Testosterone Scale
Psychosocial Changes in Stage 1 Males:
The Search for Identity; The Search for Autonomy; Autonomy and the Mother-Son Relationship; The Search for Morality; The Search for Intimacy
The Stage 1 Rite of Passage
Chapter Five: Stage 2: The Age of Determination (Ages 14-17)
Myths about Stage 2 Youths
What to Expect from Our Middle-Adolescent Males
Cognitive Changes through Middle Adolescence
What We Can Do to Raise Exceptional Middle-Adolescent Males
When Does Aggression Become Violence?
Which Middle Teen Behaviors Should We Really Worry About?
The Teen Male Who Seems to Be Suffering and We Just Don’t Know Why
Psychosocial Development:
The Search for Identity; The Search for Autonomy; The Search for Morality; The Search for Intimacy
The Emergence of the Homosexual Adolescent Male
Creating and Finding Rites and Rituals with Our Stage 2 Males:
Family Rituals; The Stage 2 Rite of Passage: The Quest for the Self; The Vision Quest Model; Creating Your Own Vision Quest
Chapter Six: Stage 3: The Age of Consolidation (Ages 18-21)
What to Expect from a Stage 3 Adolescent
The Warrior, the Artist, and the King:
The Warrior; The Artist; The King
The Meaningful Testing Ground
Keepers of the Testing Ground
Bruce’s Story
Psychosocial Development:
The Search for Identity; The Search for Autonomy; The Search for Morality; The Search for Intimacy
The Stage 3 Rite of Passage
Part Three: Educating Adolescent Boys
Chapter Seven: Schoolboys: Adolescent Boys and the Educational System
Gender Ideologies and Our Educational Assessments
Innovations for Educators: Different Ways Boys and Girls Learn
Natural Nurturance
Improving Sex Education
After-School Programs
Violence in the Schools
Structural Solutions in Educational Systems:
Single-Sex Classrooms; Boys’ Schools
The Politics Surrounding Single-Sex Education: Title IX
Other Educational Innovations
Chapter Eight: Virtual Masculinity: Adolescent Boys and the Media
What Do We Know About Media Use?
The Media Are Family Members
How Children Bond with Media Figures
How Storytelling Works
Media Stimulation and the Brain:
Hormones and the Media; Imprinting; Overriding Natural Neural Protections
What First Families Can Do
A New Vision
Part Four: The Refining Fire: Caring for the Spirit of Our Young Men
Chapter Nine: Nurturing the Core of Manhood
New Models of Manhood
The Core of Manhood
Compassion: The Art of Compassionate Conversation
Honor
Responsibility
Enterprise
The Score Model
Chapter Ten: The Ten Integrities
Lineal Integrity
Psychological Integrity
Social Integrity
Spiritual Integrity
Moral Integrity
Emotional Integrity
Sexual Integrity
Marital Integrity
Physical Integrity
Intellectual Integrity
Epilogue
Notes and References
Index
About the Author
