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We Are Never Meeting in Real Life. by Samantha Irby
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We Are Never Meeting in Real Life.

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We Are Never Meeting in Real Life. by Samantha Irby
Paperback $17.00
May 30, 2017 | ISBN 9781101912195

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    May 30, 2017 | ISBN 9781101912195

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  • May 30, 2017 | ISBN 9781101912201

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  • May 30, 2017 | ISBN 9781524783556

    557 Minutes

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A New York Times Critics Top Book of the Year

“The second book of essays from this frank and madly funny blogger…. A sidesplitting polemicist for the most awful situations.”—Janet Maslin, The New York Times, Summer Reading Pick

“A memoir of the life of a sardonic, at times awkward, at times depressed black woman with Crohn’s (an inflammatory-bowel disease) and degenerative arthritis…. Her acerbic, raw honesty on the page — often punctuated with all-caps comic parenthetical asides — unflinchingly recounts experiences such as the humiliating intrusion of explosive diarrhea on romantic and borderline-romantic interludes.” —Kera Bolonik, New York Magazine

“Irby is one of our country’s most fierce and foulmouthed authors, whose literary takes on sex, family, and the body are unique in their comedic resonance and full gut-punch power. The best thing about this book, and all of her writing, is that the reader is made to feel like they are taking a master class from their best friend, and you feel right at home with Irby’s stories and points of view while also being completely in awe of her craft and wit.” —Amber Tamblyn, Vulture
“Irby…is so authentic, entertaining, and fearless, funny seems too concise a word to describe stepping inside her thoughts for a couple hundred pages. Her writing is both confident and self-deprecating and will strike readers in that perfectly relatable space between glorious confidence and average self-doubt. Essays about how much she despises her cat and an ill-timed gastronomical adventure are mind-blowingly hilarious, as are her musings on the great outdoors, her hypothetical Bachelor application, and Zumba. Other pieces, especially those involving her mostly-absent alcoholic father and her mother’s battle with multiple sclerosis are so vulnerable and fearless that they’ll stop you in your tracks. Irby doesn’t shy away from anything, and her brand of honesty is the kind that can inspire new writers and attract legions of loyal readers dying to meet her in real life.” —Molly Labell, BUST
“Essayist Samantha Irby is my very favorite sort of writer: stunningly direct, wildly hilarious, breathtakingly honest and, best of all, imminently relatable.”—Heidi Stevens, Chicago Tribune

“From the blogger behind Bitches Gotta Eat comes a seriocomic essay collection that will have you crying from laughter and then just crying. A boisterous medley of awkward sex, pop culture obsession and coming-of-age.”—
“A nearly perfect collection of essays: Irby is hilarious and poignant and human, and she knows how to tell a damn good story.”—A.V. Club

“Turn off the TV, let the dishes pile up, pull on your most comfy pair of sweats and settle into your reading chair. You’re going to be there awhile.”—Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel

“I love Samantha Irby’s writing…. Read the whole thing.”—The Billfold
“Besides having one of the season’s best covers…Irby’s new collection of essays is an often riotously funny, unflinching, and never not provocative look into her life. Irby tackles difficult topics, like her estrangement from her father and how growing up in poverty has lifelong repercussions, including making it impossible to understand how to do things like ‘save for a rainy day.’…. Irby writes about the ways in which our society is so focused on aspirational living, that it neglects the people who are just trying to survive. But the book is never preachy, rather it is skillful in its ability to reveal the essential realities of how so many of us live and dream and hope and fail, in ways that are inimitably our own.”—NYLON

“Samantha Irby is my favorite living writer. Actually, I’ll throw in the dead ones too. Screw you, Herman Melville.” —Lindy West, author of Shrill

Reading Samantha Irby’s We Are Never Meeting In Real Life cracked my heart all the way open. The essays in this outstanding collection are full of her signature humor, wit, and charming self-deprecation but there is so much more to her writing. For every laugh, there is a bittersweet moment that could make you cry. From black women and mental health to the legacies created by poverty to dating while living in an all too human body, Irby lays bare the beautiful, uncompromising truths of her life. I cannot remember the last time I was so moved by a book. We Are Never Meeting in Real Life is as close to perfect as an essay collection can get.” —Roxane Gay, New York Times bestselling author of Difficult Women and Bad Feminist

“This book didn’t make me laugh out loud. It made me laugh silently, wheezing and crying, until my sides ached.” —Rainbow Rowell, New York Times bestselling author of Eleanor & Park

“Sometimes Samantha Irby’s writing will make you want to hug her. Sometimes it will make you want to be hugged by her. Sometimes it will make you want to lock her in your closet so you might take credit for this hysterical, honest and authentic book. The last one might just be me.” –Jenny Lawson, “The Bloggess” and bestselling author of Furiously Happy
“Get ready to do that thing where you go from laughing hysterically to sobbing uncontrollably, because those two emotional states have never been closer. Irby’s writing–about sex, death, disability, garlic scapes—is so relentlessly funny, the gravity and deeply generous vulnerability of it can sneak up on you.”—Kate Harding, author of Asking for It

“There is simply no one like Samantha Irby. Reading her is emotional whiplash; you are crying laughing and then crying and then so deeply moved that you don’t know what you are. We Are Never Meeting in Real Life is life as written by blood and viscera and fluids and heart, a near to bursting bright red, beating throbbing fighting heart. If the world is a dumpster fire, then this book is the cache of fireworks that shoots out of the flames and lights up the night. You’re shocked and kind of worried for your well-being, but you’re also laughing too hard to do anything about it.” —Lindsay Hunter, author of Ugly Girls

Table Of Contents

My Bachelorette Application
A Blues for Fred
The Miracle Porker
Do You Guys Pay Your Fucking Bills or What?
You Don’t Have to Be Grateful for Sex
A Christmas Carol
Happy Birthday
A Case for Remaining Indoors
A Total Attack of the Heart
A Civil Union
Fuck It, Bitch. Stay Fat.
Nashville Hot Chicken
I’m in Love and It’s Boring
A Bomb, Probably
The Real Housewife of Kalamazoo
Thirteen Questions to Ask Before Getting Married
Yo, I Need a Job.
Feelings Are a Mistake
We Are Never Meeting in Real Life.


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