Born to Win

Table Of Contents

Born To Win1. Winners And Losers
Winners
Losers
Tools for Change
Frederick Perls and Gestalt Therapy
Eric Berne and Transactional Analysis
Summary
Experiments and Exercises
Trait Checklist
Winner/Loser Continuum
Role-Playing an Inner Dialogue

2. An Overview Of Transactional Analysis
Introduction to Structural Analysis
Development of Ego States
Introduction to Analyzing Transactions
The Games People Play
Days of Decision
Psychological Positions
Sexuality and Psychological Positions
Introduction to Script Analysis
Summary
Experiments and Exercises
Beginning to Know Your Ego States
Your Ego States and Feelings
Analyzing a Transaction
Your O Kness (fantasy)
Your Sexual O Kness (fantasy)

3. The Human Hunger For Strokes And Time Structuring
Stroking Hunger
Positive Stroking
Discounting and Negative Stroking
The Hunger for Structured Time
Summary
Experiments and Exercises
You and Touch
You and Recognition
You and Time Structuring
Your Capacity for Intimacy

4. The Drama Of Life Scripts
Scripts
Cultural Scripts
Subcultural Scripts
Family Scripts
Psychological Scripts of an Individual
How Scripting Occurs
Scripts with a Curse
Countercsripts
Roles and Themes in Life Dramas
Script Themes
Script Roles and Themes in Greek Mythology
Script Themes in Children’s Stories
Summary
Experiments and Exercises
Cultural and Family Scripting
Individual Script
Nonverbal Messages In Your Script · Verbal Messages In Your Script · Role Identification · On Stage · Life Stages · Cast Of Characters

5. Parenting And The Parent Ego State
The Parent Ego State
Outward Expression of the Parent Ego State
Inner influence of the Parent Ego State
Nurturing Parent
Prejudicial Parent
The Incomplete Parent Ego State
Reparenting
Summary
Experiments and Exercises
Your Parents as People
Money · Possessions · Crisis · Fun · Sex Roles · Family Meals · Appearance · Education · Work · Values · Speech Patterns · Listening Patterns · Script Themes And Roles · Parenting Practices
Your Parent’s Attitudes
How Are You Like Your Parents?
Your Inner Dialogue
Your Parent Ego States
Naikan Therapy (Japanese self-observation method)

6. Childhood And The Child Ego State
The Child Ego State
The Natural Child
The Little Professor
The Adapted Child
Shifts between the Natural and Adapted Child
Activating the Child Ego State
Summary
Experiments and Exercises
Your Childhood Home
Getting in Touch with Your Childhood
The Child in You Now
Fantasy Awareness
Your Childhood Adaptations
Loss of a Parent
Your Little Professor
You as a Natural Child

7. Personal And Sexual Identity
Names and Identity
Identity through Play
Childhood Psychological Games and Role Identity
Sexual Identity
Sexual Expression
Summary
Experiments and Exercises
Identity and Your Name
Your Childhood Play
Your Current Play
Your Psychological Games
Your Sexual Identity and Expression
Your Sexual Feelings and Behavior Now

8. Stamp Collecting And Game Playing
Psychological Trading Stamps
The Time of Redemption
The Sweatshirt Message
Games Played from the Child Ego State
The “Yes, But” Game
The “Let’s You and Him Fight” Game
The “See What You Made Me Do” Game
The “Uproar” Game
The “Courtroom” Game
The “Cops and Robbers” Game
Giving Up Games
Summary
Experiments and Exercises
Your Stamp Collection
Integrating Old Feelings
Inadequacy · Helplessness · Perfection · Depression · Fear · Guilt · Anxiety · Anger · Resentment · Other Feelings
Tracing Old Feelings
Your Sweatshirt Messages
Script Check List

9. The Adult Ego State
The Bash Trap Phenomenon
The Adult Ego State
Ego State Boundaries
Lax Ego Boundaries
Rigid Ego Boundaries
Contamination of the Adult
Boundary Lesions
The Adult as Executive of the Personality
Placating Your Parent
Pleasing the Child
Activating and Strengthening the Adult Ego State
Days of Despair
Summary
Experiments and Exercises
Deathbed Scene (fantasy)
Your Last Hour (fantasy)
Breaking Out of Your Bash Trap
Examining Constant Parent, Constant Adult, and Constant Child
Your Ego State Portrait
Decontaminating Your Adult
Learning from your Projections
Learning from your Dreams
Problem-Solving Technique

10. Autonomy And Adult Ethics
Awareness
Spontaneity
Intimacy
The Integrated Adult
Adult Feelings
Adult Ethics
Epilogue
Experiments and Exercises
Your Adult Ethics
Adult Questions on Your Life

Footnotes And References

Index