Don't Stalk the Admissions Officer

Table Of Contents

Acknowledgments   vii
Introduction    viii

Part one
Enjoy High School Now, Avoid Therapy Later   1
 
Chapter 1
Overachiever and Loser Have the Same Latin Root   2
 
Chapter 2   
Why Spend the Summer Meditating with Monks When You Could Be Working on Your Tan?   17
 
Part two
Hot Sweats, Cold Sweats, and Difficulty Breathing—Either You’re Applying to College or You Have Malaria   21
 
Chapter 3   
Finding the Right Fit: Why College Isn’t a Pair of Levis   22
 
Chapter 4   
Guidance Counselors Must Have Done Something Very Bad in a Former Life   39
 
Chapter 5   
The SAT Versus the ACT: Which Is More Evil?   54
 
Chapter 6   
Surviving the College Tour: Please God, Not Another Library   73
 
Chapter 7   
When to Tell Your Parents It’s Time to Start Seeing Other Children   82
 
Chapter 8   
The Art of Asking and/or Threatening Teachers for a Good Recommendation   96
 
Chapter 9   
Writing the Essay: The Line Between Good and Bad Is Thinner Than You Think   106
 
Chapter 10 
The College Interview: Fourteen Ways Not to Screw It Up   126
 
Chapter 11 
Things That Annoy Admissions Officers   136
 
Chapter 12 
How to Pass the Time While You’re Waiting to Hear   144
 
Part three
The Envelope Arrives: Whatever Happens, Don’t Take It Out on the Mailman   151
 
Chapter 13 
Without Rejection, There’d Be No Ben & Jerry’s   152
 
Chapter 14 
How to Choose the Right School (They All Look Good in Brochures)   161
 
Chapter 15 
Paying for College Without Getting Arrested  170
 
Chapter 16 
Taking a Gap Year: Should You Put Off Renaissance Poetry to Explore Italy on a Vespa?   184
 
Epilogue     
Whether It’s Fat or Thin, an Envelope Will Not Change Your Life   191
 
Index   194
 
About the Author   198