Acknowledgments viii
Introduction 1
1 I Fart, Therefore I Am 4
2 Bush-League Butt Burps 8
3 Gassy Hound Is Hollywood Bound! 12
4 War of the Whoopee Whoppers 16
5 My Chair Is Telling Everyone I Stink! 20
6 His Tooting Did the Talking 23
7 The (Butt) Crack of Dawn 26
8 Butt Blasts Bring Down American Airliner! 30
9 The World’s Oldest Fart Joke 33
10 Giving It Up for Lentils 36
11 Farts, Press 1; For More Farts, Press 2 39
12 Houston, We Have a Problem 42
13 The Horn of Plenty Pooting! 46
14 The World’s Worst Fart Film? 49
15 The Earth Farts Back II 53
16 The World’s Funniest Fart 57
17 Out, Damp Spot! 61
18 The Vroom in the Elephant 64
19 Who Cut the Cheese? 68
20 Boys Will Be Boys 70
21 The Blame Game 75
22 Breaking News: Tiger Tees Off! 77
23 They Have a Little Odor 82
24 Crepitation Without Representation! 86
25 Who Said Farts Are Green? 90
26 Can-Can Man with the Singing Can! 93
27 Halitosis Hyped as Hippo Hot Air 98
28 Twenty Celebrity Farts 102
29 Let the Wind Blow Free! 110
30 The Low-Fart Marsupial Diet 114
31 Sighing Orifices: The Twain Shall Meet 117
32 Reality Bites Bubbles in a Bathtub! 119
33 Hollywood’s No-Farting Zone 124
34 Did a Moose Let Loose? 127
35 Step Away from the Fart Machine! 130
36 The Princess of Passionate Gas 134
37 Farty Factoids All in a Row! 138
38 Straight Poop on the Yoop! 145
39 Nether Winds in the Netherlands! 150
40 Baby, Let’s Go Dutch! 154
41 How Bad Was It? 157
42 The Day His Butt Went Psycho 158
43 This Is Your Brain on Gas! 161
44 Subterranean Fartsick Blues 164
45 Everybody’s Farting on YouTube! 167
46 More to Love, More to Fart! 170
Resources List 173
Index 180
