In her coming-of-age memoir, asylum seeker and advocate Luma Mufleh writes of her tumultuous journey to reconcile her identity as a gay Muslim woman and a proud Arab-turned-American refugee.
“Masters the beauty of vulnerability.”—Shondaland
“A powerful, honest account of an activist’s experiences of being gay in a culture she loves but in which it’s hard to see a place for herself.”—Kirkus Reviews, starred review
It’s hard to say goodbye when you don’t want to go.
Growing up as a teenager in Amman, Jordan, in the 1980s and ’90s, Luma might not have had the words to describe her sexuality—there is no word for gay in Arabic—but she knew enough to keep it a secret. If discovered, her conservative religious community wouldn’t hesitate to kill her. As a member of a wealthy and influential family in the city, her last name protected her but would only go so far, and she feared that her family, whom she loved so much, would cast her out.
But keeping her sexuality a secret wasn’t something she could live with either, and Luma spent her teen years becoming increasingly desperate. It was heartbreakingly simple—to live, she would have to leave. And so, Luma makes the tough decision to apply for asylum in the United States while attending college, causing her family to break ties with her when she refuses to return home.
Relying on the grace of friends and strangers alike, Luma begins to build a new life, one where she can fully embrace her identity as a gay Muslim woman. Slowly she forges a new path forward with both her biological and chosen families while never forgetting where she’s from.
