If I Had Known Then

A survivor of sexual violence advocates for ending harm rather than merely transferring it in this unapologetically frank and astonishingly optimistic memoir.

In 2016, Marlee Liss was sexually assaulted. When she went to the police, she had no idea the three-year process would only serve to exacerbate her trauma. The painful experience brought into focus a potent irony: Victims have no right to consent or assert their own boundaries in the punitive judicial process, a system that is supposedly designed to protect those very rights.

Defeated, she considered dropping the charges, as so many victims have before her. Instead, she pursued an alternate route—that of Restorative Justice. By fighting not only for herself but also for her assailant, all parties arrived at a place of healing: a groundbreaking, transformative circle.

Marlee’s case made history as one of the first in North America to conclude with Restorative Justice. The impact of the outcome proved to be immense. Immediately, her inbox was flooded with thousands of messages from survivors around the world. The same sentiment was echoed again and again: “I wish I knew there was another option.”

If I Had Known Then provides a window into life after trauma and the harmful realities of criminal ‘justice,’ presenting an undeniably compelling case for why alternatives to the punitive approach are absolutely needed. A story full of hope and embodied resilience that offers a clear way forward, Marlee invites us all to believe in transformation and to courageously advocate for what we need—even when those needs oppose dominant systems.