Essays
A Safe Space Between Books
Librarian Mychal Threets reflects on men’s mental health, the weight of outdated expectations, and the quiet power of community spaces like libraries.
Mychal Threets is a librarian, literary ambassador, and the library’s number one fan (according to himself, admittedly). He grew up in Fairfield, CA, and got his first library job as a shelver at the library where he grew up. He worked his way up to becoming the Supervising Librarian of that very same library. He is very open about his mental health and talks about it in hopes that it will help others in their mental health journey. He considers it an honor to the library people who raised him that he is a recipient of the 2024 “I Love My Librarian” award from the American Library Association, one of School Library Journal’s 2024 Movers and Shakers, and one of TIME Magazine’s 2024 Next Generation Leaders. You can find him on Instagram and TikTok.
A blog post is not nearly enough space to discuss the complex subject of men’s mental health. But hopefully, this is just the start of such a conversation!
Mental health matters always. It’s okay to not be okay. Please stay one more day. The world is best with you in it. These all sound like things you’d find on a coffee cup or a t-shirt. But they must be said because far too many people, too many men, too many young boys were never told this. It’s beyond time that we started saying it so that we men believe it, so that we’ll encourage other men and have conversations that lead to us experiencing healthy mental health.
My father is Black, and my mother is Mexican American and white. In Black and Mexican culture, similarly to a plethora of other cultures, mental health is not spoken of at all — not just spoken of for men, but for everyone. Mental health struggles are real for everyone — men, women, kids, and teens.
Far too many men are told things like, “Act like a man!” or “Be a man!” I find myself asking: What does that mean? Who is this man we’re supposed to act like, whom we’re supposed to be like? Because he certainly does not strike me as a person comfortable talking about mental health.
To be fair, that is okay. It can be an uncomfortable conversation. Which is why “act like a man”, “be a man” is so confusing…
Is this man a carpenter, a tradesman? Is he a mechanic always working in the garage? Perhaps he is a laborer? A bodybuilder, an athlete — always at the gym? Who do you envision when you hear “act like a man”, or “be a man”? Because I wish there weren’t a person who automatically came to mind when you hear those words.
We are all different. We are all going through something. We all adapt to the world in different ways. We all struggle. The struggle is real!
Men are on the struggle bus, in fact, we require an entire fleet of struggle buses to fit all of us. Again, I say: it is okay to not be okay. We must talk about mental health as men so that we can love who we are, and so we can inspire young boys who will become men, and show there is no singular version of a man’s man.
There are so many expectations placed on us, as human beings, and as men. I insist that your expectation is to live, to thrive, to learn to love yourself, and to prioritize your mental health. Please. The suicide rates in men are astronomical, and it is heartbreaking. They are so high because we bottle up our emotions and feelings until it is too late. We leave the world to escape the pain. Please don’t escape, there’s still time to be captured in a beautiful world where your mind is kind.
From depression and anxiety to bipolar disorder and ADHD, these are just a few of the struggles that we, as men, face. But we can seek help. Asking for help is difficult. It really is. But I promise you: it does not make you weak. Community is an extraordinary way to support and heal one another. I love the library! It’s a place where men can come together and talk about mental health. I know how scary that sounds, but it doesn’t mean we always have to talk about the hard stuff. Sometimes, the best way to start the conversation around men’s health is by asking: What’s bringing us joy? Because that’s part of mental health, too. It’s not all doom and gloom, it’s about mastering our minds. There are books at the library on mental health, and neighbors out there who are willing to listen.
The conversation will continue! Maybe one day, when we talk about men’s mental health, the phrase “Man up!” will mean something entirely different, like another man standing up to talk proudly about his internal world. With that awful joke out there, I’ll leave you with this: remember, at least one person is happy to be alive at the same time as you.
It’s me! I’m that person.
