How to Talk to a Widower

A Q&A with author Jonathan Tropper on his book, How to Talk to a Widower


What’s your typical writing day like? And what environment is most conducive to your process?

I generally try to treat writing like any other job. I wake up early and am at my desk before nine am. To further the illusion of a job, I don’t work at home, but commute to a local college about twenty minutes away. I find by treating it like a real job, I can attach a modicum of discipline to the whole enterprise. Of course, in a real job, you can’t say to your boss, “It’s not going well today,” and then blow off the afternoon at the movies, which I do sometimes. But for the most part, I try to write straight through from nine until two or so. Then I take a break, and then I revisit what I’ve written and do a bit of editing, so that I’m ready to break new ground the following day.

I also find I don’t write well in a quiet office. I do much better with the quiet bustle of a small college library or a quiet bookstore café.

Can you name the first book you read that inspired you in some special way? Why?

I’ve been inspired by numerous books, but the two books I always seem to come back to are Bright Lights Big City, by Jay McInerney, and What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, by Peter Hedges. Bright Lights is so tight, so concise, and yet so fully realized. It would take me twice as many words to say what McInerney says, and I still wouldn’t say it as well. And What’s Eating Gilbert Grape has such a wonderful cast of characters, so flawed and sympathetic and real, while still being odd and outrageously funny. Gilbert Grape was the book that made me want to be a writer. Whenever I get stuck, those are the two books I go back to for inspiration. In a wonderful coincidence, Peter Hedges, who has since gone on to become a successful screenwriter and director, is now writing and directing the movie version of my novel, Everything Changes.

Which came first: the characters, or the storyline?

For me, it always starts with the character. I may have a rough idea of the premise I want to explore, but it won’t go anywhere until I’ve really developed a complete understanding of who I’m writing about. I’ll write pages and pages about my protagonist, most of which will never make it into the novel. But by the time the novel is really getting underway, I’ll know him cold; his past, his present, his hurts, his dreams, and where I want to drop him off when the ride is over.