READERS GUIDE

Questions and Topics for Discussion

1. In the prologue, Decca writes that “it isn’t really possible to write about a real-life event without turning it into a form of fiction. . . . it is only an edited version of a partial perspective, not the same thing as the truth.” What do you make of that assertion? How did that idea guide your reading experience? 

2. Decca writes about being a parent to young children whose parent has died, and also about being a young child whose own parent has died. How do these two perspectives inform each other?

3. Decca refers to herself and Tony as “the most implausible couple [she has] ever known.” What drew Decca and Tony to each other? Does their story remind you of any love stories in your own life?

4. Decca writes about how Tony would list off the reasons why his crack use was different than that of a common addict. In what ways did his inability to see the truth help him? In what ways did it hurt him?

5. What aspect of Tony’s life story did you find most inspiring?

6. After Tony dies, both Decca and her son Jake confront deep feelings of guilt surrounding the drowning. Did you expect this reaction? Have you experienced a similar reaction to grief?

7. Tony’s death was quickly covered by London news outlets. How did the media coverage complicate the grieving process for Decca and her family? Were there advantages? Disadvantages?

8. One of the most emotionally charged aspects of the book is how Decca helps her children deal with Tony’s death. What did you learn from reading her account of this process?

9. After her mother’s death, Decca’s family “organized a system of bereavement in which anything as chaotic as anguish could be reasoned away. . . . [and congratulated themselves on their] superior analysis of death.” Eventually, however, she finds that “it is a middle-class fallacy that if only you’re clever enough, you can find a way to save yourself from common misery.” How does Decca’s family’s “system of bereavement” compare to your own?

10. All at Sea begins and ends at Treasure Beach, the location where Tony died. What effect did this have on you as a reader? What effect did it have on the book as a whole?