Undead and Unwelcome

Betsy Taylor here. Again. This time, there’s some serious stuff going down: I’m going to Cape Cod. How is that serious, you ask—Cape Cod is a vacation for most people! Well, not for the Queen of the Vampires. Not when I’m bringing back the body of a dead werewolf to her pack. Not when Cape Cod is infested with suspicious werewolves. And not when the beaches are so damn crowded.

Coming with me is my newlywed husband, Eric Sinclair. I keep telling myself this should make me happy, but the guy keeps driving me nuts. Whatever happened to “happily ever after”? Whatever happened to “Prince Charming”? Whatever happened to “shut up and listen to your royal wife, asshat”?

Also coming with me is my stepbrother, BabyJon. There’s really no one left alive but me to watch over him. My baby bro is starting to act a bit strangely, and I’m glad I’ve got him under my eye. The werewolves don’t seem too crazy about him…but what does a 300-pound wolf have to fear from an infant? Nothing, right?

You’d think all this would be enough activity to keep me busy; but life (or undeath) always seems to pile it on. Back home, my friend Mark’s sending me increasingly cryptic text messages. It doesn’t bother me that things are getting dangerous with my infernal sister Laura, as much as it does that my good doctor friend can’t seem to write a complete sentence on a cell phone. AAMOF? RBTL? J2LYK? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! Hey, I’ve got an acronym for you: GFYself. And no, “GFY” doesn’t mean “Good for You”.

What does this all boil down to? My sister, who can’t die, is about to throw down with me…who can’t die.

This may take a while. So have a seat and enjoy my misery…everyone else does!

—Betsy, a.k.a. Queen of the Undead