Doubleblind

Omni News Net is pleased to present an interview with notorious jumper-turned-ambassador Sirantha Jax. Ace reporter Lili Lightman caught up with her right before her diplomatic gig on Ithiss-Tor. She kindly agreed to meet us at one of her favorite dives, Hidden Rue, before her newest mission.

Lili: What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

Jax: Nice? Seriously, Lili? I thought you journalists were supposed to do a little background research before beginning an interview. I’m guessing you got the job on your tits or on your back. Which is it?

Lili: Er, perhaps another question. What would you do if a Morgut walked into the bar right now?

Jax: Feed you to him. No, I’m totally kidding. I love you, Lili Lightman. You produce such high quality entertainment. Wait, didn’t you used to follow me around, hoping to get something shocking for the midnight bounce? Well, I’d save you and everyone else in here by doing something stupid. That’s what I’m supposed to say, right?

Lili, nervously: Yes, I used to work the Farwan circuit before I became a presenter. What are the Morgut really like? Do you think they have a bad rap in the intergalactic press?

Jax, brow raised: Hell no. The nice folks around here would be scared to death if they were confronted with a fanged, slavering, arachnoid alien that wants nothing more than to suck out all their succulent juices. [Her voice takes on an ironic inflection.] But me, I’m used to it. I’m practically immune to fearing the Morgut, given I’ve had the pleasure of cleaning out a station that was infested with their webs and cocoons. Did you know they like to lay eggs on top of a live human being and then wrap the whole body as a snack for their larvae?

Lili, eyes wide: No, I didn’t. [She shivers.] Maybe that’s enough on the Morgut. So who do you work for these days?

Jax: I work for the Conglomerate, apparently. See, they can’t seem to consolidate their power, and they think an alliance with Ithiss-Tor will cement them as a force to be feared throughout the galaxy.

Lili: Do you think that’s true?

Jax: It will certainly be a coup, if we can pull it off. But honestly, I have my doubts. I mean, me, as a diplomat? [She shakes her head.] But I have to try. There’s no doubt we need the help and the Ithtorians are the only race that the Morgut don’t see as prey. They respect them as equally capable hunters, and I understand they have a long genetic memory.

Lili: What does that mean?

Jax: It means they remember getting their asses kicked by the Ithtorians back when they were still exploring the galaxy.

Lili, blankly: And that’s important?

Jax, sighing: Yes. The Ithtorians are also poisonous to the Morgut, so if we can forge an alliance with them, it may give the Morgut pause. Even I don’t think I’m the ideal person for this, but Vel won’t work with anyone else.

Lili, consulting notes: And that’s your cultural liaison? [She leans in, conspiratorial.] Our viewers would love to know what he’s really like. Can he turn into anyone you want, anyone at all? Like a famous vid star, for instance?

Jax: Vel is brave, loyal, smart, capable, and just about the best person I’ve ever met, and he is my dear friend. But otherwise, your curiosity frankly disturbs me. I think it’s best if I let the last part of that question go, at least for the sake of his privacy. I don’t want him inundated with perverse requests. Let’s talk about our working relationship instead.

Lili: I understand. Well, we’re all relieved to have you both working on our behalf. Now for the crucial question, what are you driving these days? [She giggles.] Oops, I guess that would be flying.

Jax: Nothing. Farwan drained my accounts and gave all my credits to my bastard ex. Now said accounts are frozen. So I have no creds, and no choice but to work for Chancellor Tarn. Isn’t that super, Lili?

Lili: Er, yes.

Jax: By the way, I’m a jumper, not a pilot. That means they don’t let me drive. Well, I did once, but I banged up the ship, and March wasn’t too happy about it.

Lili: March. That’s your pilot? He’s so yummy. I understand you have a rather interesting relationship with him. Care to tell us a little about it?

Jax, wearing that look: I’m not sure professional reporters are allowed to use the word ‘yummy.’ And he’s mine, that’s all you need to know.

Lili: Right. And where were you born?

Jax: On New Terra.

Lili: That’s right, Ramona Jax is your mother. She’s quite the society grand dame! You must be really proud.

Jax: Is that a question? Because I’m not hearing a question.

Lili: No, I’m sorry. [She consults her list.] What’s the last job you did?

Jax, glancing off vid: Is she for real? I think I’m done here. [Camera pans to show her leaving.]

And that was Sirantha Jax, everyone! We can expect more exciting news with her at the forefront of this diplomatic mission, that’s for sure. I’m Lili Lightman for Omni News Net. That’s all for now, and keep reaching for the stars!