READERS GUIDE

The questions, discussion topics, and author biography that follow are intended to enhance your reading of Kathy Dobie’s The Only Girl in the Car. We hope they will enrich your experience of this riveting, poignantly honest memoir.

Introduction

“I put on my candy-striped halter top, bell-bottom jeans, and platform shoes … and sat myself down in the middle of the green, green lawn. I’d made a decision. I was going to lose my virginity.”
—From The Only Girl in the Car

Kathy Dobie reached adolescence during the 1970s in small-town New England. During an era that ushered in America’s most liberating identity crisis, Kathy–the oldest daughter in a large Catholic family–took a risky route to adulthood, defining herself through exploitive older boyfriends. The Only Girl in the Car culminates in a bitterly cold night when four young men introduced Kathy to a raw world far removed from her optimistic upbringing. The story of how she came to be in that car and how she stepped out of it forever altered–but not forever damaged–are the themes of this extraordinary coming-of-age tale.

In each unflinchingly told scene, The Only Girl in the Car taps into a variety of provocative and important issues, such as the tandem of power and sex and the hypocrisy of those who blame only women for perceived moral transgressions.

Questions and Topics for Discussion

1. One of the first characters Kathy Dobie introduces is Brian, the thirty-three-year-old she meets on her parents’ front lawn. What are your first impressions of Brian and Kathy, based on this initial encounter? How did those impressions change throughout the book?

2. Though many of Kathy’s experiences reflect the time period during which they occurred, her fantasies and impulses have several universal qualities. What outcomes would you predict for today’s teenage Kathy Dobies?

3. Religious imagery frequently appears in this memoir. In what way does the author’s attitude towards God vary from the time she maintains a secret “chapel drawer” to her concluding paragraphs about the Reverend Betty Neal?

4. When Kathy embarks on a mission to lose her virginity, what does “virginity” represent to her? Does the actual experience provide any of the benefits for which she had hoped?

5. Chapter eleven describes the ironic cross-country vacation that Kathy’s parents think of as a wholesome family activity. Why do you suppose they were so unaware of Kathy’s communication with leering passersby? Were you surprised by Mr. Dobie’s lack of response when his co-worker called the snapshot of Kathy “cheesecake?”

6. What does Bill teach Kathy about their family’s protocol regarding rebellion?

7. Does Catholicism lend a particular tone to Kathy’s youth that other faiths might not have? Why? What are some examples?

8. Kathy’s parents told her years later that they heard her sneaking out at night but, short of locking her in her room, “didn’t know what to do.” Do you agree with their actions? To which parent does Kathy seem more responsive?

9. Does the Teen Center provide a microcosm of Hamden? What drew Kathy to the Center? Why were the teenagers there so quick to judge her and exonerate Jimmy?

10. Discuss the experiences that formed your bridge from childhood to adulthood. How did your impulses compare to Kathy’s? How has your own perception of the opposite sex evolved from the time you were a teenager?

11. Compare Kathy’s relationship to Bill to that of her other siblings. Does her affection for him seem mutual?

12. Discuss the significance of the following line, which refers to a tan blonde who catches the gaze of Kathy’s father: “I wanted to be her, collecting stares as I walked down the street, pulling fathers from their suitlike selves.” What might the “suitlike self” mean to her? What were some of the other motivations behind her adolescent actions?

13. Kathy mentions her mother’s dinner-table proclamations against feminists. “Stephen wouldn’t have understood her agitation…. The rest of us had begun to harden our hearts against her. We had to, for she had set all her hopes and dreams, her sense of worth, on the idea of a big, happy, loving family. And we were going to crush her dream.” What makes Kathy so certain that she and her siblings would never live up to Mrs. Dobie’s ideal?

14. What did Kathy’s parents demonstrate to her about gender and power?

15. In your opinion, does Kathy’s horrific experience with Jimmy and his cohorts constitute rape? Do you believe that her friends would have been more sympathetic if the incident had happened in the twenty-first century?

16. In the face of Kathy’s ostracism, Cindy becomes a surprising source of unconditional support. How does this turn of events shape Kathy’s depiction of her family?

17. What are the challenges and benefits of growing up in a large family? What do the final chapters of The Only Girl in the Car indicate about Kathy’s attitudes toward life in groups?

18. How do Kathy’s images of New York compare to her depictions of Hamden and New Haven?

19. Do you consider Kathy’s writing of this memoir, albeit with pseudonyms, to be a risky act?

About this Author

Kathy Dobie’s work has appeared in many publications, including Harper’s, The Village Voice, Vibe, and Salon. Raised in Hamden, Connecticut, she now lives in Brooklyn, New York. The Only Girl in the Car is her first book.


From the Hardcover edition.