Legends and Tales of the American West

Table Of Contents

It Ain’t Necessarily So  /  xiii
Foreword  /  xv
 
Chapter 1 — Ohio Fever  /  3
The Devil and Major Stobo  /  5
The Cheater Cheated  /  9
The Wild Hunt  /  12
Dreams  /  14
The Skeleton Hand  /  15
The Wild Hunter of the Juniata  /  23
The Consequences of Not Letting a Man Have His Drink  /  28
The Laughing Head  /  31
 
Chapter 2 — The Long Hunters  /  35
Tarzan Boone  /  37
Swallowing a Scalping Knife  /  42
That’s John’s Gun!  /  43
A Clever Runner  /  44
A Damn Good Jump  /  45
The Warrior Woman  /  49
The Corcondyle Head  /  51
 
Chapter 3 — Backwoodsmen  /  55
The Irrepressible Backwoodsman and Original Humorist   /  57
Grinning the Bark Off a Tree  /  60
Davy Crockett on the Stump  /  61
The Drinks Are on Me, Gentlemen  /  61
Gouging the Critter  /  62
Jim Bowie and His Big Knife  /  63
Won’t You Light, Stranger?  /  69
Ohio Poem  /  70
 
Chapter 4 — Ring-Tailed Roarers of the Western Waters  /  71
A Shooting Match  /  75
Did Such a Helliferocious Man Ever Live?  /  77
Like Father, Like Daughter  /  80
She Fought Her Weigh in She-B’ars  /  81
He Crowed and Flapped His Wings  /  83
A Fight Between Keelboatmen Averted  /  84
Stranger, Is This a Free Fight?  /  85
The Screaming Head  /  85
Stopping Drinking for Good  /  89
 
Chapter 5 — Mountain Men  /  91
Little Big Man  /  95
Kit Carson and the Grizzlies  /  100
Run for Your Life, White Man!  /  103
Old Solitaire  /  109
Pegleg Smith and Headless Harry  /  121
Mind the Time We Took Pawnee Topknots?  /  127
Lover Boy of the Prairies  /  128
Putrefactions  /  135
The Injin Killed Me Dead  /  137
Heaven According to Old Gabe  /  139
Damn Good Shootin’  /  141
Uncle Joe the Humorist  /  146
Ba’tiste’s Nightmare  /  147
Song of the Voyageur  /  150
 
Chapter 6 — Timber!  /  151
Paul Bunyan and His Little Blue Ox  /  153
Paul Bunyan Helps to Build a Railroad  /  157
Kidnapped by a Flea  /  162
Thunder Bay  /  167
 
Chapter 7 — Gold! Gold! Gold!  /  171
Tommy-Knockers  /  173
It Had a Light Where Its Heart Ought to Have Been  /  177
He Ate All the Democrats of Hinsdale County  /  180
A Golden-Haired Fellow  /  184
Treasures of Various Kinds  /  185
The Missing Chest  /  190
 
Chapter 8 — Git Along Little Dogies  /  195
The Saga of Pecos Bill  /  197
The Taming of Pecos Bill’s Gal Sue  /  203
Coyote Makes a Texas Cowboy  /  209
The Heart-Shaped Mark  /  212
The Skeleton Bride  /  215
Western Jack and the Cornstalk  /  217
Better Move That Drat Thing!  /  219
Being Afoot in Roswell  /  220
Outstunk the Skunk  /  220
 
Chapter 9 — They Died with Their Boots On  /  221
No-Head Joaquín and Three-Fingered Jack  /  225
The Headless Horseman of the Mother Lode  /  232
El Keed  /  235
El Chivato  /  241
He Rose from the Grave  /  244
A Whale of a Fellow with a Gun  /  248
The King of the Pistoleers  /  255
A Western Duel  /  263
The Nuptials of Dangerous Davis  /  264
Killing Off the James Boys  /  266
Theme and Variations  /  267
The Winchester Ghosts  /  272
 
Chapter 10 — Bucking the Tiger  /  277
A Hard Head  /  279
Indians Can Play Poker  /  281
Jim Bowie Takes a Hand  /  282
The Curly-Headed Little Boy  /  284
Shall We Have a Drop?  /  287
Colonel Tubbs Strikes It Rich  /  289
Good for Our Entire Assets  /  294
The One-Eyed Gambler  /  295
 
Chapter 11 — Lady Wildcats of the Plains  /  297
Born Before Her Time  /  299
How Old Calam Got Her Name  /  301
Calamity Jane Meets a Long-Lost Lover  /  305
 
Chapter 12 — The Man Who Never Was  /  309
Deadwood Dick  /  311
Deadwood Dick and the Grizzly  /  312
Deadwood Dick to the Rescue  /  315
 
Chapter 13 — An’ That’s My Roolin’  /  321
The Law West of the Pecos  /  323
Ah Ling’s Hommyside  /  325
Fining the Deceased  /  328
The Hanging of Carlos Robles  /  330
Roy Bean’s Pet Bear  /  332
Judge Barker, Old Zim, and the One-Eyed Mule  /  335
El Cuatro de Julio  /  337
A Drink’s Worth of Punishment  /  337
 
Chapter 14 — Sky Pilots  /  339
Preachin’ One Can Understand  /  341
The Parable of the Prodigal Son  /  345
Lissen to the Heavenly Poker Player!  /  347
Hear What the Great Herd Book Says!  /  349
A Funeral Oration  /  349
A Black Hills Sermon  /  350
 
Chapter 15 — Critters  /  353
The Valley of Headless Men  /  355
A loup-Garou, or a Windigo, or Maybe a Carcajou  /  359
The Call of the Wild  /  365
The Windigo  /  369
The Great White Stallion of the West  /  370
Until Judgment Day  /  373
El Diablo Negro  /  376
Snake Yarns  /  381
A Rolling Snake Gathers No Moss  /  383
The White Snakes  /  385
A Pair of Fine Boots  /  386
The Young Man Who Wanted to Be Snakebit  /  389
The Peg-Leg Cat  /  391
 
Chapter 16 — Mostly Lies  /  393
Somebody in My Bed  /  395
The Weather  /  397
It Gets Mighty Cold Around Here  /  398
Texican Liars  /  400
 
Chapter 17 — Miracles, Saints, and Witches  /  401
The Three Lost Daughters  /  403
The Two Witches  /  405
The Owl Witch  /  406
San Isidro and the Angel  /  407
A Riddle  /  409
The Many-Times-Killed Young Man  /  411
The Caveman of the Hermit Peaks  /  416
The Miracles of Chimayo  /  420
The Miraculous Staircase  /  424
The Hitchhiker  /  427
 
Source Notes  /  431
Bibliography  /  441