How Not to Completely Suck as a New Parent

Table Of Contents

Introduction

The First Year:
Your Newborn’s Appearance
Setting Up the Nursery
The First Month of Life
Diapers
The Little Things
Resuming Sexual Relations After the Birth of Your Child
The Baby Reveal
Baby Monitors
Memories to Last a Lifetime
Baby Clothes
Signs You May Have Picked the Wrong Pediatrician
Parental Threat Level
Good Advice about Bad Advice
Getting Back into Shape
Travelling with
Money
Tit for Tat
Feeding Your Infant
Childprooffing Your Home
Questions, Questions

The Second Year
The Not-So-Newlywed Game
The Growth of a Toddler
Books
Talking to Your Child
Fun Activities You Can Do with a Toddler, and Why They’re Not Fun
Family Dining
Christmas Specials
Signs You May Have Picked a Bad Daycare
Failed Children’s TV Shows
More Questions, Questions

The Third Year
The Outdoers
ABCs
Arrgh!: One Man’s Story
Cartoon Violence
When I Was a Kid…
Midnights
Teaching Your Child to Think Creatively
Going Wiggly
How to Talk to Young Children about “Difficult”
Subjects: A Guest Chapter by Dr. Ben Agiter,
Child Psychologist
Jazzy and Gigi
Dangerously Sick of Winter
Soft Pants
Enough with the Questions, Already!
The Rest of Your Child’s Life
Conclusion: What Does it Mean to Be a Parent?

Appendix One
Your Second Child

Appendix Two
Parenting 2015: A One-Act Play