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The Power of Parting

Name: The Power of Parting
Price: 30.00 USD
Availability: InStock
Author: Eamon Dolan
ISBN: 9780593714126

Hardcover $30.00

Published on Apr 01, 2025 | 304 Pages

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$30.00

Published on Apr 01, 2025 | 304 Pages

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A myth-shattering, inspiring book that combines research, reportage, and memoir to explore the growing phenomenon of estrangement from toxic relatives—showing it not as a tragedy, but as an empowering and effective solution to the heartbreak of family abuse.

After decades of enduring his mother’s physical and psychological torment, after years of trying in vain to set boundaries, Eamon Dolan took a radical step: he cut his mother out of his life. No more phone calls, no more visits, no more contact. Parting with his abuser gave him immediate relief and set him on a path toward freedom, confidence, and joy like none he had ever felt before.

In The Power of Parting, Dolan has written the book he wishes he’d had when he was struggling to free himself from his mother’s abuse. In the process, he discovered how widespread estrangement really is. At least 27 percent of Americans are estranged from a parent, sibling, or other family member. He also learned why so much stigma surrounds this common—and often lifesaving—phenomenon. Even among therapists—the professionals who would seem most attuned to the pain relatives can inflict—there’s a bias toward reconciliation, when millions of their patients need instead to escape their abusers’ grip. Estrangement, Dolan realized, should be understood and embraced, not shrouded in shame.

Drawing on his own suffering and healing, as well as experts’ advice and the testimony of other courageous survivors, Dolan first explains why abuse is much different and more prevalent than we may think, how it harms us in childhood and beyond, and why limiting or eliminating contact might be our best possible choice. Then, he walks readers through the steps of a successful, positive estrangement: how to take crucial time for yourself; how to make sure no one can gaslight you into minimizing or forgetting; how to set rules for your abuser and—if they can’t or won’t respect your limits—how to end a toxic relationship. He also offers valuable counsel on how to ease the guilt and grief that often accompany parting, and how to break the cycle of abuse that was likely passed down to you through many generations.

With a convincing blend of clarity and empathy, Dolan encourages others to do what he ultimately did for himself: determine whether the people in your life treat you with the care and concern you deserve—and part ways with them if they don’t.

“This is a brave book that takes on the painful experience of estrangement and instead of framing and pathologizing it as mere ego and stubbornness, it is infused with humanity and reality. Eamon Dolan not only vulnerably shares his story, he provides both the science and the human pain of estrangement and ultimately the actionable paths forward for adult children of abusive family systems. The Power of Parting reminds us that sometimes individuation, healing, resolution, and ending intergenerational cycles require giving ourselves permission to release ourselves from those who harmed us, even if they are family.” —Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author of It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People

“This isn’t just a book—it’s a manifesto for self-liberation, a permission slip to heal, and an indispensable guide for all of us who have endured abuse in the name of family. Through a brilliant blend of research, reportage, and deeply personal storytelling, Dolan shatters the myth that family ties must be unbreakable and dares us to see estrangement not as a failure, but as a radical act of self-respect and empowerment. The Power of Parting is a courageous and necessary book that challenges us to reimagine what love, loyalty, and resilience truly mean.” —Lara Love Hardin, New York Times bestselling author of The Many Lives of Mama Love

“We don’t choose our family members, but we can choose how we want to be treated. Moving beyond societal guilt, secrecy, and taboos around estrangement, The Power of Parting provides concrete guidance on how to move forward when ‘working things out’ proves too difficult, too painful, or simply impossible. For anyone who has felt trapped by the deep wounds that relatives can inflict, this brave and groundbreaking book offers invaluable clarity, empathy, healing—and ultimately, freedom.” —Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and cohost of the Dear Therapists podcast

“Dolan makes a persuasive case for eliminating contact with family members whose abusive behavior can’t be redeemed. . . An intellectually rigorous manifesto, a green light for reasonable limits that sometimes, with gleeful blunt force, flares red.” —The New York Times Book Review

“From the family abuse he endured and the estrangement he achieved, Eamon Dolan has made a work of art that will console, inspire, and save many people. His writing is beautiful, his story and the stories of other survivors are riveting, and his guidance is clear and compelling. This wonderful book will help any survivor overcome the toxic legacy of abuse and find the rich, rewarding life they deserve.” —David Sheff, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Beautiful Boy

“Dolan acknowledges the deep grief that can result from cutting family members out of one’s life but makes a strong case for its value as a form of self-care that offers victims greater agency and self-knowledge. The result is a smart and sensitive primer on a tricky and little-discussed issue.” —Publishers Weekly

“It’s a difficult subject, but Dolan faces it with courage and optimism. His willingness to openly share his story will give readers in similar positions a path through their pain.” —Booklist

“This much-needed addition to the literature around estrangement is well researched, tightly structured, and eminently practical. . . [A] valuable tool for adult survivors.” —Kirkus Books

“Dolan’s personal history of abuse is worthy of a Charles Dickens novel . . . Dolan’s book [is] informative, comprehensive, and illuminating, as it thoroughly explores abuse and how to respond to it.” —Psychology Today

“Genuine and heartfelt…The Power of Parting, addresses the deep emotional scars of child maltreatment and fiercely drives home the fact that we cannot condone child abuse in any form. The elegantly written and well-researched words of Eamon Dolan speak to the immense power of child advocacy and the responsibility of all to protect our children (and our adult inner child) from harm. I love this book.” —Karyl McBride, Ph.D., author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough?

“The Power of Parting is a profoundly empowering book for anyone who feels the need to distance themselves from their family. Dolan tackles this deeply personal issue with sensitivity and clarity, offering validation and hope to those navigating the complex emotions of estrangement. A must-read for any survivor who values understanding, growth, and healing.” —Whitney Goodman, LMFT, author of Toxic Positivity

“In a world where it’s expected to prioritize and honor family relationships no matter the amount of harm caused; Dolan offers an alternative path: estrangement. With deep compassion, he reminds us that the goal in life isn’t always reconciliation or a path forward together, but rather one of peace and freedom. A gift that can come on the other side of limited or no contact with a person who is unwilling or unable to change.” —Vienna Pharaon, author of The Origins of You

“I’ve never seen such clarity and compassion offered to people who struggle with toxic family members. Whether you choose to stay connected or take your distance, this book will guide you in understanding what’s happening and deciding what’s best for you.” —Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That?

“In this clear-eyed, practical, and compassionate book, Eamon Dolan floods light into the dark house of family suffering and gives other survivors an invaluable gift: permission to heal.” —Julie L. Hall, author of The Narcissist in Your Life

“The Power of Parting is a compassionate and empowering guide for anyone dealing with chronic stress from toxic family members. In this groundbreaking book, Eamon Dolan provides the tools and encouragement to navigate the often painful but necessary journey of setting firm boundaries and prioritizing personal well-being. Dolan offers validation and clarity during the process of distancing from toxic family members. His practical advice, drawn from real-life experiences, brings hope for those striving to create a healthier and more authentic life. This book is not just about creating clear boundaries; it’s about healing, self-discovery, and the courage to choose yourself. A must-read for anyone seeking freedom from unhealthy family dynamics.” —Stephanie Moulton Sarkis PhD, psychotherapist and author of Healing from Toxic Relationships: 10 Essential Steps to Recover from Gaslighting, Narcissism, and Emotional Abuse

Author

Eamon Dolan

Eamon Dolan has worked as an editor at HarperCollins, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, and Penguin Press. He is currently Vice President & Executive Editor at Simon & Schuster. He’s also a professional photographer whose work has been shown at the International Center of Photography and elsewhere. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

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The Power of Parting

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