To Those Who Have Confused You to Be a Person

“A meticulous accounting of the effects of online harassment, the way it can upend women’s careers, their health and their minds.”—The Washington Post

“This is a deeply researched and clearly argued book, and Dastagir’s empathy and forays into her personal life make it particularly effective. A brilliant analysis of gender-based violence on- and offline.”—Kirkus Reviews

“An astonishing, brilliant, and timely book, Dastagir’s To Those Who Have Confused You to Be a Person sheds more light on misogynistic online culture and what women face today as a result than any other book I have read. A courageous, moving, and vital piece of reporting that I want to press into the hands of every person with an Internet connection.”—Kate Manne, author of Unshrinking

“Alia Dastagir has written an urgent and necessary argument for a more humane internet and, as a result, a better world. Weaving together profiles of women who have become the center of targeted harassment campaigns, To Those Who Have Confused You to Be a Person untangles the violence of internet abuse and shows how it silences the voices we need to hear the most. This book is both a manual and a manifesto for bringing about a better way to exist online. Dastagir has written a must-read for our digital age.”—Lyz Lenz, New York Times bestselling author of This American Ex-Wife

“Online harassment is not only a common precursor to offline violence; it is violence. To Those Who Have Confused You to Be a Person marries scientific research and lyrical writing to remind readers that our bodies react to violence in different ways and that resisting patriarchal and white supremacist forces is never easy, but the fight will always be worth it.”—Carrie Goldberg, author of Nobody’s Victim

“This beautifully written book gives us the courage to make sense of the concerns we all hold about the harms of the Internet and is a clarion call that our humanity is valuable and worth caring deeply about when it comes to how we engage with technology on an everyday basis.”—Safiya Umoja Noble, author of Algorithms of Oppression: How Search Engines Reinforce Racism

“To Those Who Have Confused You to Be a Person will be an affirming, helpful balm to all women who have experienced any form of harassment online. It is painstakingly researched and emotionally generous toward its reader, powerfully acknowledging the legitimacy of trauma caused by online abuse and providing real, helpful solutions and reframes.”—Stephanie Foo, author of What My Bones Know

“You are lucky to be holding this book. Lucky because it will make you rethink violence and language and the ways the two create each other. It will make you rethink misogyny and the way it’s not just about women but also white supremacy and structural oppression. But more than this, you are lucky because Alia Dastagir has written a way through these seemingly entrenched systems—by writing with immense care about those who fight back.”—Cris Beam, author of I Feel You and To the End of June