READERS GUIDE

Reflection questions
 
1.        In Chapter 1, Martha Beck explains how healthy fear transforms into anxiety when our left brain attempts to justify our feelings of fear and take control of the situation. Does this resonate with your experience of anxiety? What are some ways your brain tries to take control of a situation?
 
2.        Not only do many of us struggle with anxiety, but modern society itself has become a massive anxiety spiral in which, as Martha writes, “countless clever brains busily spin out terrifying stories and control strategies 24/7.” How do you see this collective spiral at play in the media, at work, in the culture, and more?
 
3.        Many of us try to lower our anxiety by analyzing, pushing through, or fighting it. Has this been you, and if so, how has this style of anxiety-reduction worked for you in the past?
 
4.        According to Internal Family Systems therapy, when we encounter trauma, our psyche attempts to protect us by splitting off parts of itself to hold the psychological pain. These banished parts are called “exiles.” To keep the exiles from bubbling up into our consciousness, our psyches split off into even more parts: “managers,” which are responsible for keeping us going by being virtuous, obeying the rules, and being a good person; and “firefighters,” which try and stop the exiles’ pain through distraction and boundary-breaking. These parts can cause long-term anxiety. Can you identify what your exiles, managers, and firefighters might be?
 
5.        We encounter the “creativity spiral” when we activate our brain’s right hemisphere, which sparks curiosity and makes us want to create. When we are curious and creative, anxiety shuts down. Martha says creativity can applied in everything we do: dancing, painting, and writing, yes, but also parenting, leading, dressing, cooking, conversing, solving problems, moving through the world, and everything in between.  What are some big and small ways you can be creative every day?
 
6.        Many of us have abandoned our creative interests, perhaps because they go against cultural norms or are not seen as productive. What are some things that have sparked your curiosity and you want to learn more about?
 
7.        Martha describes “squirrel passions” as any topic that fascinates us so much, the more we learn about it, the more we want to keep learning—like a dog relentlessly chasing a squirrel. Do you have a squirrel passion? If so, what is it? If not, what do you wish it would be?
 
8.        If you were to make a sanity quilt from your favorite pastimes, hobbies, and deepest interests, what would it look like?
 
9.        Social roles stifle creativity. To excel in these roles, a lot of us do things that are fueled by anxiety, like getting up early, staying silent, or seeking approval. What socially prescribed roles do you think you’re fitting into now? What rules can you start breaking? Who do you think you might be if you started following your innate sense of curiosity and creativity?
 
10.   The future of work is changing. Industries we thought were permanent—like manufacturing, agriculture, and print media—are disappearing or fundamentally evolving. Our obsession with maximizing wealth makes the likelihood of staying at one company for the entirety of one’s career less and less. To succeed in this new environment, Martha calls for the creation of “economic ecosystems”: fluid, creatively-inspired networks of money-making and soul-filling ventures. Whether it’s coaching, book-writing, event-planning, or more, how would you create your economic ecosystem?  
 
11.   We all possess undeniable genius. What are some things that come so naturally to you, you might not even realize it’s your genius?
 
 
Exercises
 
Step Out of Your Anxiety Spiral
1.        Think about something that makes you mildly anxious—not anything truly horrifying but a situation that makes you just a bit nervous, like remembering to buy a gift for a relative or file your taxes on time. Notice how this mild anxiety feels in your body and emotions.
2.        Let that thought go for just a minute. Instead, think about three things you love to taste. List them. Imagine tasting them.
3.        Now list three things you love to hear. Imagine hearing them.
4.        Now list three things you love to see. Picture them as you write them down.
5.        Now list three things you love to smell. Remember the scents.
6.        Now list three things you love to feel against your skin. Imagine touching them.
7.        Next, see if you can remember or imagine a scenario in which all or most of the items above were/ are present.
8.        Right now (or whenever you can bring these sense perceptions into your mind), write a brief description of the scenario that combines some of your favorite sense perceptions. As you do this, use present-tense language. Include at least one image from each of your five senses.
9.        Briefly describe the physical and emotional sensations that arose as you composed this fantasy situation.
10.   Notice what happened to your anxiety during the time you were composing, experiencing, and writing about this scene.
 
Create a Sanctuary
1.        Identify a specific place where your anxiety feels calm. It could be your bedroom, an office, a chair, your closet. Sit or lie here for at least 10 minutes every day.
2.        Fill the place with glimmers, or objects that help calm your nervous system. These could be flowers, your favorite blanket, a cup of tea with lemon, a picture.
3.        In your sanctuary, from a Green Light state, practice dipping into the Yellow and Red Zones, always coming back to Green.
 
Get Unstuck on a Problem
1.        Calm yourself. Tame your anxiety spiral.
2.        Wander around. Take a meandering walk, travel, or change up your environment.
3.        Let your mind catch fire. Get inspired by watching people who are really good at the thing you’re stuck on.   
4.        Practice deeply. Use dedicated play to replicate the highest level, then get curious about what you can do to get better.
5.        Get stuck. Embrace the limits of our ability and see them as an invitation to keep going.
6.        Trust. Stop trying to control the end result.