READERS GUIDE

“Early in my career, one of my colleagues was dismissed for faking his Ph.D. While most people focused on the scandal, I couldn’t stop wondering about my colleague’s wife, who had recently given birth to their first child. Did she feel betrayed, or trapped, or both? Like her, I was also new to marriage and motherhood and quickly discovering that the transition was much messier than I’d expected. “Why hadn’t anyone warned me about this?” I wondered. “Does everyone else know something I don’t?” — Danit Brown

Questions and Topics for Discussion

1. Owen believes his lie about getting a Ph.D. has nothing to do with his marriage. Do you agree with him? Why or why not? How would you have responded if you were in Estie’s position?
2. What does Estie’s decision to keep her cat, despite Owen’s allergies, reveal about her character—and about their relationship?
3. Estie has complicated feelings about her baby. What are some of the differences Estie experiences between her expectations of motherhood and the reality of raising her daughter?
4. Throughout the novel, Estie’s two closest friends are Penny and Alice. Compare and contrast Estie’s relationships to both women. Do you think one friendship is healthier than the other? Are you still close with anyone from high school or college?
5. How do Alice and Estie’s lifestyles differ? Do you think it’s fair that Alice set boundaries on talking about Estie’s pregnancy?
6. After giving birth, Estie reaches out to her college boyfriend, Dan. What are her motivations behind emailing and planning to meet with him?
7. Estie feels that her mother isn’t helping enough during the newborn phase. What, if any, obligations do parents have to their adult children when it comes to supporting them as new parents? How does Estie’s childhood with her mother impact her own mothering?
8. What role does media—TV, blogs, Instagram, parenting books—play in shaping expectations around marriage and motherhood? If you are married or have a child, what about those experiences did you find most surprising? What do you wish you’d known beforehand?
9. Who or what do you think is responsible for the end of Estie and Alice’s friendship?
10. Estie eventually has her cat euthanized. Why do you think she does this? Can you sympathize with her choice? What role, if any, does depression play in her actions?
11. How does Estie change as a person over the course of the novel? Is she more or less likable by the end? What does “likable” even mean in the context of a story like this?
12. If you could give Estie one piece of advice at the start of the novel, what would it be? What would you want her to know about herself, or about life?