“In Radical Relating, Mel Cassidy gives the reader many practical tools for working through the process of building the relationship ecosystem they want. Where the entry into non-monogamous relating can often feel like a drop onto a section of map that just says ‘Here There Be Dragons,’ Mel’s trauma-informed lens and suggested activities (especially the Relational Ecology Mapping and Four Quadrants Model of relationships) are enormously helpful in giving landmarks to that space. This book is kind, open-hearted, and full of many years of wisdom regarding somatics, polyamory, and relationship anarchy from which folks can glean the pieces that best serve them in their connections.”
—Laura Boyle, relationship coach and author of Monogamy? In This Economy?
“Radical Relating is the book I’ve been longing for my whole relational life! Mel Cassidy clearly and compassionately explains why so many of us continue to experience such pain in our relationships, no matter who they’re with or what style of relating we embark upon. Unless we attend to our relational trauma patterns and the oppressive systems that our relationships take place within, we’ll remain caught up in deep suffering. This rich and engaging book provides a spot-on route map to relating in ways that are sensitive to personal and collective trauma, and that are careful and caring with ourselves and others. Grounded in a holistic view of the self and embodied practice, this is a truly radical book which I highly recommend to everyone.”
—Meg-John Barker, coauthor of How To Understand Your Relationships
“This isn’t just a book that helps you highlight potential issues or struggles in non-monogamy and explain where they might come from, but actually helps you ground yourself and process them in a way that is felt as opposed to intellectualized. Speaking as a polyamorous therapist in training, I believe this book will pave the way for a generation of therapists, coaches, and others in helping roles to provide polyamory- and queer-affirming care.”
—Leanne Yau, founder of Poly Philia
“While most non-monogamy books follow a predictable formula—explaining why it’s acceptable and how to practice it—Mel’s book takes a refreshingly different approach. Rather than defending non-monogamy, it explores what relating to others actually means when non-monogamy forms the foundation. For readers who’ve already embraced non-monogamy but wonder ‘what’s next?’, this work provides valuable guidance. Many find ‘designing relationships’ daunting, especially when raised in mono-normative environments where familiar patterns feel safer. Mel offers both practical choices and a thoughtful framework for developing truly post-monogamous relationships. The book introduces surprising approaches to human connection that prompted me to reconsider my own relationships. It serves as an essential reference for relating to others without defaulting to conventional structures. Rather than simply justifying non-monogamy, Mel provides a roadmap for navigating relationships once you’ve moved beyond monogamy’s constraints—making this an invaluable resource I’ll return to repeatedly.”
—Shaun Miller, lecturer and philosopher, @coffeeandresearch
“Mel Cassidy’s book is a timely addition to the non-monogamy discourse. They call for relationship revolution that starts with embodied presence, centering interpersonal healing in our interactions with others and our wider communities. Their book invites readers on a journey of self-discovery to throw out the hangovers of colonialism, patriarchy, and white supremacy and to embrace collaborative ways of relating that yield deeper, more authentic connections. It’s a transformative vision and highly recommended.”
—Dr. Sophia Graham, therapist, coach, and founder of Love Uncommon
“Mel Cassidy’s book Radical Relating is surpassed only by the body of work they’ve built over years of being a voice for polyamorous and queer people and our communities. It’s a refreshing look at what becomes possible in our relationships when we bring consciousness, heart, and the permission to create from how we feel—not just from what we know. This book is a must-read not only for those looking to relate outside the norm, but for anyone who understands (or wants to understand) that radical relating is a deeply embodied and transformative process. Mel holds your hand through the pages like a lifelong friend and trusted mentor—walking beside you with wisdom, compassion, and the kind of insight that only comes from lived experience.”
—Elizabeth Ann Cunningham, founder of Love Mastery: Queer Relationship Coaching Certification and Business Academy
“You won’t want to put this one down! Mel Cassidy’s Radical Relating is another to add to the list of highly recommended must-reads on polyamory and all forms of non-monogamy. Reflecting deeply into all things relating, Cassidy dives into monogamy origins, to modern non-monogamy, to a post-monogamy world, with somatic pauses and journal prompts along the way. This book is guaranteed to challenge the way you already view relationships and your own relationship with non-monogamy.”
—Andrea Peters, @InfinitePolyam
“From the start of Radical Relating, Mel Cassidy creates a space where readers feel seen and safe as they explore non-monogamy on their own terms. Unlike many books and coaches that promote rigid, colonialist frameworks of success, Mel invites you into a radically compassionate, messy, and evolving experiment of choosing your version of love & joy.”
—Flo Oliveira, AMFT, sex therapist
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