The celebrated authors of the perennial bestseller The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said set the typical travel guide squarely on its head–taking you from the airport to the hotel, from sightseeing to dining out–by using 100 percent real examples of fractured English as spoken and posted abroad:
• Feel like shopping?
We have no good things to sell.
–shop sign, Lovina Beach, Bali
• Feeling sick?
Are you haunted by the horribles? Do you run after your own nose?
–Japanese medical form
• Wondering what to wear?
A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but no trousers.
–in a French hotel brochure
• Wondering where to eat?
Grill and Roast your clients! Open for lunch, dinner and Sunday Brunch.
–slogan of the Hibiscus restaurant in the Jakarta Hilton International
But don’t take our word for it, come see for yourself. And if that’s too much to ask, remember the sage advice from the staff of a Taipei hotel: “If there is anything we can do to assist and help you, please do not contact us.”
Author
Kathryn Petras
Kathryn Petras is half of a sibling writing team, along with her brother, Ross Petras, with over 4.8 million copies of their work in print—including popular “word nerd” books such as the New York Timesbestseller You’re Saying It Wrong, That Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means, Very Bad Poetry, and Awkword Moments. The duo host the podcast “You’re Saying It Wrong” with NPR affiliate KMUW. The Petras’s work has been featured in, diverse media outlets including the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune, the Wall Street Journal, Cosmopolitan, The Washington Post, Huffington Post, Bustle, the Atlantic Monthly, the London Times, and McSweeney’s. They have also been guests on hundreds of radio shows as well as television shows and networks, including NPR’s Here and Now, Good Morning America, CNN, and Fox & Friends.
Learn More about Kathryn PetrasAuthor
Ross Petras
Ross Petras is half of a sibling writing team, along with his sister, Kathy Petras, with over 4.8 million copies of their work in print—including popular “word nerd” books such as the New York Times bestseller You’re Saying It Wrong, That Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means, Very Bad Poetry, and Awkword Moments. The duo host the podcast “You’re Saying It Wrong” with NPR affiliate KMUW. The Petras’s work has been featured in diverse media outlets including the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune, the Wall Street Journal, Cosmopolitan, The Washington Post, Huffington Post, Bustle, the Atlantic Monthly, the London Times, and McSweeney’s. They have also been guests on hundreds of radio shows as well as television shows and networks, including NPR’s Here and Now, Good Morning America, CNN, and Fox & Friends.
Learn More about Ross Petras