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Conflict without Casualties by Nate Regier, Ph.D.
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Conflict without Casualties

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Conflict without Casualties by Nate Regier, Ph.D.
Paperback $21.95
Apr 24, 2017 | ISBN 9781523082605

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  • Apr 24, 2017 | ISBN 9781523082605

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Conflict without Casualties fills a gap by showing leaders at any level how to leverage positive conflict. Practical, insightful, challenging, relevant.”
—Dan Pink, New York Times bestselling author

“Who could ever think of conflict as creative? Nate Regier, that’s who. In Conflict without Casualties, Nate introduces the concept of compassionate accountability—holding someone, including yourself, accountable while preserving one’s dignity. His strategies are effective at work and at home—at every level. Don’t shy away from conflict; face it with creativity and compassion and watch things change for the better.”
—Ken Blanchard, coauthor of The New One Minute Manager® and Collaboration Begins with You

“We all know that drama will suck the energy out of your day, your department, and your company, but no one has identified with as much precision as Regier how to eliminate the drama and suffuse the workplace with more creativity, accountability, and productivity than ever. A revolutionary resource!”
—Marshall Goldsmith, international bestselling author or editor of thirty-five books, including What Got You Here Won’t Get You There and Triggers

“A must-read that offers a simple, powerful model for transforming conflict, drama, and negative energy into compassionate accountability and a stronger, more united team.”
—Jon Gordon, bestselling author of The Energy Bus and The Carpenter

Conflict without Casualties is powerful but in a practical way. Dr. Regier provides a compelling model to demonstrate how the energy created by conflict can be utilized for positive change—for individuals, within relationships, for organizations, and even for world crises. His analysis of the dynamics within the ‘drama triangle’ of persecutor-victim-rescuer clarifies most of the dysfunction seen in workplace relationships. The beauty of the concept, however, blossoms more fully as he describes the positive power created from the ‘compassion cycle’ of openness-resourcefulness-persistence. Thought-provoking yet easy to read and comprehend, this book is highly recommended to anyone interested in transforming the negative cycles in relationships (both work-based and personal) into the energy that will fuel positive growth.”
—Paul White, PhD, coauthor of The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, Rising above a Toxic Workplace, and Sync or Swim

“Nate Regier takes the old idea that creativity is the hidden purpose behind conflict and opposition in this world and applies it to many practical and important areas of human endeavor. His work with compassionate engagement can help sustain relationships of all kinds.”
—Michael Meade, author of Fate and Destiny and Why the World Doesn’t End

“The world needs Next Element’s brilliant model for transforming conflict into productive change. Nate’s book profoundly improved my mindset and gave me the tools to have powerful relationship-building conversations. I recommend it to everyone who wants to live authentically and influence others.”
—Vicki Halsey, PhD, Vice President, The Ken Blanchard Companies, and author of the bestselling Brilliance by Design

“I found Conflict without Casualties to be very practical and accurate as a comprehensive approach to conflict—especially workplace conflict. I really enjoyed its thoughtfulness and sensitivity and the author’s personal openness in explaining the development of the theory and steps of Next Element’s compassion cycle. The examples were particularly helpful, and one of the sample quotes gave me words I can use in an upcoming conflict situation.”
—Bill Eddy, coauthor of It’s All Your Fault at Work and President, High Conflict Institute

“This book is a wonderful and powerful resource. I can see how ORPO can be leveraged in innovation and teams for real breakthroughs—without the casualties!”
—Chris Donlon, Senior Field Umpire and Grand Final Umpire, Australian Rules Football

Table Of Contents


Acknowledgments ix

Introduction 1

Chapter 1 | Conflict:
The Big Bang of Communication 9

Chapter 2 | Drama:
Misusing the Energy of Conflict 13

Chapter 3 | But I’m Just Trying to Help!:
Good Intentions, Unintended Consequences 33


Chapter 4 | Compassion: Not for the Faint of Heart 47

Chapter 5 | Compassion and the Cycles of Human Civilization: Will We Get It Right This Time? 75


Chapter 6 | Violators Will Be Prosecuted: Three Rules of the Compassion Cycle 89

Chapter 7 | Warning! Drama Approaching!: Three Leading Indicators 103

Chapter 8 | It’s All about Choices: Three Choices to Move 111

Chapter 9 | Coaching Accountability When There’s No Drama: Match and Move 129

Chapter 10 | The Formula for Compassionate Conflict: Confronting Drama with Compassionate Accountability 147

Chapter 11 | Conflict without Casualties: Preparing to Struggle with 163

Appendix A | Personal Development Guide 181

Appendix B | Preparing for Conflict: Building My ORPO Bank 191

Notes 195

Glossary of Terms and Phrases 197

Index 201

About the Author 207

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