A Jarrod Jarvis Mystery Series

Getting butchered at the hands of a serial killer in the “high concept” slasher film, Creeps, was supposed to revive former child star Jarrold Jarvis’s career. Instead, it’s a celluloid Titanic . . .

While nursing his wounds at the post-premiere party at a Starbucks on Beverly Boulevard, Jarrod runs into Wallace Goodwin, one of the former writers on Go to Your Room, the beloved 1980s show that made Jarrod a star. He’s shocked to discover that the neurotic, egotistical Wallace has penned a play bound for London’s West End, with a scene-stealing part for Jarrod.

Faster than he can say his catchphrase, “Baby, don’t even go there!” Jarrod’s hitting the boards in London . . . and the boards are hitting back, big time. As much as the actors all seem to loathe one another, they truly resent Jarrod. The hotshot young director with a thing for girls named Kate berates him at every turn. British legend Dame Sylvia Horner is so sloshed she can barely read her lines. Bollywood beefcake Akshay Kapoor’s one facial expression seems to be handsome glowering—when he isn’t making eyes at Jarrod’s hunky LAPD boyfriend, Charlie. And since coming out has made him hot again, Sir Anthony Stiles wastes no time “tutoring” every young actor in a 12-mile radius. Jarrod’s only friend in the cast is the formidable Claire Richards. The sexy, 40-something, champagne-swilling, Oscar-wining actress is the undisputed star of the show. No one can play a death scene like La Claire. Except that this time, the diva isn’t faking it. She’s been poisoned, and the last person to see her alive was Jarrod himself . . .

They say bad news comes in threes.
Jarrod Jarvis is about to test that theory.

Bad news item #1. Former child actor (and constant comeback candidate) Jarrod Jarvis fails to convince the California parole board not to release the stalker who has followed him since his first Oscar Meyer commercial. #2. Jarrod’s NBC pilot flatlines before it even hits the air. #3. His agent/best friend Laurette decides to marry gorgeous, shady Juan Carlos Barranco, a really bad soap actor. But it gets worse. During Laurette’s wedding, a guest has a heated scene of his own with Juan Carlos—just before he crashes into the three-tier wedding cake, poisoned by a glass of champagne.

Much to the dismay of Charlie, his hunky LAPD boyfriend, Jarrod is convinced that Juan Carlos has something to do with the murder. He’s determined to get the goods, even if it means trailing him to the set of his latest movie, a “high concept” horror film, and taking a (gasp!) supporting role.

Now, trapped in surreal South Florida, Jarrod is living his worst nightmare, keeping one eye on his best friend’s cheating husband, fighting his own attraction to a butch P.I., doing a movie for scale, and running from the mob. But while Jarrod has been following Juan Carlos’ every move, someone has been tailing Jarrod. Someone who thinks Jarrod knows too much for his own good—and is ready to give him his final screen credit . . .

“Baby, don’t even go there!”

That was Jarrod Jarvis’s catch phrase as the adorable, girl-crazy moppet on the 80s  sitcom, Go To Your Room! It was a great ride until the tabloids caught the popular teen idol kissing another guy at the L.A. gay rodeo. “Gay” and “teen heartthrob” not exactly being career-making words at the time, Jarrod’s star crashed harder than a Kathie Lee Gifford CD.

Flash forward: Now happily living with his cop boyfriend, Charlie, and their dog, Snickers, in the Hollywood Hills, Jarrod’s ready to hit the comeback trail . . . but he never imagines how fame will strike this time. At a reading with his psychic, Jarrod is disturbed to hear that someone close to him will be murdered and even more shocked when it turns out to be his best friend, Willard Ray Hornsby, also a former child star. When Willard is found face down in his own lap pool, the cops call it an accident, but Jarrod’s far from convinced—and he’s ready to play the Sherlock Holmes of West Hollywood to prove his conspiracy theory right . . .