Insightful Memoirs About Grief

Centered around the loss of her mother to cancer, Michelle Zauner’s debut memoir unpacks the complicated relationship between mothers and daughters, the nuances of identity in a cross-cultural landscape, and the road forward after unimaginable loss. Michelle beautifully intertwines sumptuous memories of food and a raw coming-of-age story — and the challenge that lies in both remembering our roots and forging our own paths. Deeply moving and honest, Crying in H Mart is a revelatory deep dive into the ways that grief, love, and pain shape who we are, who we want to be, and who we will ultimately become. For anyone experiencing the loss of a parent or struggling to find themselves in the wake of pain, Crying in H Mart is an impeccable next read.

Many cultural and religious traditions expect those who are grieving to step away from the world. In contemporary life, we are more often met with red tape and to-do lists. This is exactly what happened to Geraldine Brooks when her partner of more than three decades, Tony Horwitz – just 60 years old – collapsed and died on a Washington, D. C. sidewalk. Without space to grieve, the sudden loss became a yawning gulf. Three years later, she booked a flight to a remote island off the coast of Australia with the intention of finally giving herself the time to mourn. A spare and profoundly moving memoir, Memorial Days is a portrait of a larger-than-life man and a timeless love between souls that exquisitely captures the joy, agony, and mystery of life.

In luminous, poetic prose, Rivera Garza tells a singular yet universally resonant story: Liliana is a spirited, wondrously hopeful young woman who tried to survive in a world of increasingly normalized gendered violence. Rivera Garza traces her sister’s history, and using her skills as an acclaimed scholar, novelist, and poet, Rivera Garza collected and curated evidence to document her sister’s life. Through this remarkable and genre-defying memoir, she confronts the trauma of losing her sister and examines how this tragedy continues to shape who she is — and what she fights for — today.

Lost & Found is a profound take on the juxtaposition of grief and joy and what exists at the intersection of both. On the precipice of falling in love, Kathryn loses her beloved father and is forced to reckon with both competing realities. An exquisite exploration of the transformative power of disappearance and discovery, Kathryn invites readers into uncharted territory, full of both sorrow and happiness. Lost & Found’s ability to approach both extremes and explore the beauty that lies in the in-between is the ideal next read for anyone experiencing the complicated relationship of both grief and joy — at the same time.

Prolific author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie confronts the haunting impacts of Covid-19 in this gut-wrenching memoir. The loss of her father, amid the pandemic and an era marked by vast social injustice and unrest, forces her to reckon with the ever-changing constructs of grief and the anger and loneliness that inevitably follows. Both personal and universal in its exploration of grief, Chimamanda’s work speaks to a collective pain so deep in all of us. Written in a compact, easy-to-read format, Notes of Grief is the perfect book for anyone struggling to cope with pandemic-related loss, and move forward from its grasp.

Unlike so many books that discuss love and loss in the abstract, In Love tackles death head-on. After Amy learns that her husband, Brian, has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, they come face-to-face with the complicated decisions surrounding the end of his life. Ultimately, the two decide to end Brian’s life with dignity and autonomy by going to Dignitas, a Swiss organization that empowers a person to end their own life with peace. Simultaneously witty and gut-wrenching, In Love explores the unflinching love and loyalty of marriage — a commentary on matrimony that expands everything we thought we knew about “till death do us part.” For anyone dealing with partner loss, or the struggle to grapple with the harshness of death, In Love is both a shocking and tender escape.

When Danielle Geller’s mother dies of alcohol withdrawal during an attempt to get sober, Geller returns to Florida and finds her mother’s life packed into eight suitcases. Geller, an archivist and a writer, uses these pieces of her mother’s life to try and understand her mother’s relationship to home, and their shared need to leave it. Geller embarks on a journey that will end at her mother’s home: the Navajo reservation. Exploring loss and inheritance, beauty and balance, Danielle Geller pays homage to our pasts, traditions, and heritage, to the families we are given and the families we choose.

Most of us understand grief as sorrow experienced after a loss — the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or a change in life circumstance. Breeshia Wade approaches grief as something that is bigger than what’s already happened to us — as something that is connected to what we fear, what we love, and what we aspire toward. Drawing on stories from her own life as a Black woman and from the people she has midwifed through the end of life, she connects sorrow not only to specific incidents but also to the ongoing trauma that is part and parcel of systemic oppression.

When Hua Hsu loses one of his closest friends in an instant — in a senseless carjacking — his world is permanently altered. Caught between the intersection of youth and adulthood and of belonging and being othered, Hua is forced to reckon with a death so deeply profound that it shapes his entire identity. Driven to solidify the memories of his friend Ken, Hua begins writing — Stay True the product of his endeavors.  For anyone yearning to immortalize a loved one through art, Stay True is a testament to the power of using grief to find meaning.

In 2004, Sonali Deraniyagala lost her entire family to a tsunami that hit the Sri Lankan coast — her husband, her children, and her parents. The lone survivor of an unimaginable tragedy, Sonali recounts the grueling details of the tragedy and the days, weeks, and months that came to pass in its aftermath. Sonali beautifully captures the grueling, raw reality of enduring heart-stopping grief and the immortal love that lives on — even after death. Shocking and unforgettable, Wave is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, the ever-shifting nature of grief, and our ability to navigate the uncertainty of the uncharted territories of sorrow.

Claire Bidwell Smith’s debut memoir is a haunting exploration of a young person’s experience with death. After both of her parents are diagnosed with cancer at the age of 14, and later pass when she is just 25, Claire is left to navigate the world, and herself, without the loving guidance of her two greatest mentors. Losing herself in alcohol, boys, and the anonymity of big cities, Rules for Inheritance is a touching glimpse into the experience of losing a parent and learning to live without them. Both tragic and hopeful, this book captures both the darkness and the light that accompanies grief.

Though Wild is best known for its ability to capture the harsh terrain of the Pacific Crest Trail, Cheryl Strayed’s relationship with loss — particularly the loss of her mother — is perhaps the more awe-inspiring landscape that Cheryl must navigate. When Cheryl’s mother passes and her marriage dissolves, she sets out to accomplish the unthinkable — hiking from the Mojave Desert to Washington state — all alone. As Cheryl sets out on this brave and at times terrifying journey, she learns more about herself and the shape of grief, than ever before. Written like an action-packed novel, Wild underscores the tumultuous journey towards healing — and the necessity to embark on it.

Written through the lens of a luminescent American Buddhist, Chenxing Han’s newest book, one long listening, traverses time, geography, and notions of spirituality. Both searing and effortlessly comforting, Chenxing’s experience in oncology wards, in the aftermath of the death of a cherished friend and in the liminal space between the ethereal and the material, sheds light on the gruesome pilgrimage through grief. Written for anyone in search of a more spiritual read, and a gentle hand for ongoing support, one long listening teaches us how to care for our spirits and embrace the world of uncertainty — even when we’re afraid to.