READERS GUIDE

Questions and Topics for Discussion

1. “In my quest as an adult to understand the tortured vein that ran through my family—made worse by the political convulsion in my home country—I have had to turn this history inside out and examine it from different perspectives.” How does Chigudu go about examining this? How do our parents—and their stories—shape our worlds and ideologies?

2. The memoir blends intimate storytelling with historical reflection. What insights into the social and political climate of Zimbabwe did you come away with? How does the narrative style help readers understand these complex issues?

3. In the 1990s, as Zimbabwe deals with the question of land reform, the UK government writes to the Zimbabwe minister of agriculture, “[W]e do not accept that Britain has a special responsibility to meet the costs of land purchase in Zimbabwe. We are a new government from diverse backgrounds without links to former colonial interests.” Should countries be held responsible for the nations they once colonized?

4. “Emotionally weighty things happened in my life that were never talked about.” What things were never—or rarely—discussed inChigudu’s household as he grew up? How do these unspoken things affect him later in his life?

5. “Nobody who survives torture is a good witness to their ordeal.” What do you think the author means by that, especially with regard to the brutality his father endured?

6. Chigudu recognizes education as a ticket to a better, more secure life. But where does that life lead him? How does his study abroad shape his sense of identity, belonging, and home?

7. At boarding school, the author is exposed to other, outside attitudes on Zimbabwe and Mugabe. How do they differ from the views—and loyalties—of his parents? How do these new perspectives affect his previously held beliefs?

8. Chigudu mentions his own “mental colonization” in the book. What does he mean by this?

9. As a med student, Chigudu argues that a depoliticized approach to public health would serve no one—yet he faces pushback from his supervisors. Do you support his argument? Why is it important to consider political factors when it comes to the health of a nation?

10. “At Oxford, colonialism wasn’t a period that had passed, but a historical mass that bent everything around its gravity.” How does the book present colonialism affecting academia, especially at Oxford? What other examples have you found?

11. How does music factor into the author’s life? Are there any songs mentioned that resonated with you?

12. “I’m not suicidal. I don’t even want to be hurt badly. I just want to slow things down.” The book is very open about depression and mental health. What episodes factor into the author’s breakdowns? In what ways does Chigudu try to cope? How does he finally address it?

13. “I am an only child, the designated carrier of my parents’ legacy—a burden that I had transported carefully, until that point, with all its history turned mythology left intact.” How does the author portray trauma and resilience across generations? What patterns—emotional, social, or political—seem to repeat in the family’s story? How does Chigudu begin to heal from it?

14. What does freedom mean in the context of this memoir? By the end, do you think the author finds the freedom that he is searching for? Why or why not?